Mediations #18: Building Trust Methodologically with Right Tools
Leaders often overlook building trust, yet intentional actions can boost team performance. Learn key tools to systematically build trust.
Leaders deliberately plan to develop products or deliver projects. However, they rarely pay similar attention to building trust. They see trust as “natural” or “part of being a decent human being.” What they don’t know is that if they take a few intentional steps, they can actually build trust more efficiently and recover quicker when the trust is broken.
According to DORA Research, building trust has a direct correlation to software delivery performance and contributes to a strong team culture. Why, then, do leaders not approach systematically? Because people don’t know where to start or how to approach forming trust methodologically.
Trust is like insurance. You have to pay upfront to use it when you need it. If you try to use it without having it, like insurance, you’ll get a big NO as an answer. So, how do we get a big YES when we need it? How do we find that premium insurance?
Trust has foundations. Understanding them—like knowing your insurance policy in detail—is a first good step. I’ve put a reasonable amount of time into learning and practicing these fundamentals to earn the trust across the organization. Let’s dive in.
Foundations of Trust
Before we start, I want you to think about 2-3 people you trust in your personal and work life. How did you form the trust? Which events led you to trust them? There is no wrong answer.
(Think about it for 15 seconds)
Done?
Did you form trust because they were reliable in what they said, or was it because you got to know their personal life and enjoyed spending time on personal activities?
I learned from Erin Meyer in The Culture Map book that trust can be put on a scale. On one side, we have cognitive trust (task-based); on the other, we have affective trust (relationship-based). How we form trust with people is influenced by our cultural background.
On cognitive trust (task-based), trust is formed by the reliability of the person. The more reliable a person does a task, regardless of the topic, the more trust is put in them. The more the person keeps their promise at work and reliably finishes their job as expected, the more trust they earn.
On affective trust (relationship-based), trust is formed by the closeness between people and the time spent on activities. The more people know each other at a personal level, the more they build trust. In these cultures, people trust each other more and even make verbal business contracts. The relationship itself becomes a contract—without writing things down.
Below, you can see some countries and where they are placed on the trust scale.
Türkiye (where I’m coming from) is on the relationship-based culture side, while Germany (where I’m living now) is at the edge of the task-based culture side. Imagine the struggle I had when I first moved to Germany.
The approach to forming trust should change depending on how the other person forms trust, not how we prefer it. While we form trust based on our expectations, others form trust based on theirs. So, if we want to earn someone’s trust, we should be aware of that person’s style and adjust our approach. However, some techniques work for the majority.
Either cognitive or affective, trust can be formed by being reliable, having empathy, showing vulnerability and authenticity and providing transparency. In some cultures (like Turkish culture), character and relationship have more weight; in others (like German culture), reliability plays the most prominent role. I’ve worked with people at both edges of the trust scale. Focusing on these fundamentals helped me earn their trust.
Once I understood which foundations were at the forefront for a person, I was able to leverage the right tools, which you need to know.
Tools to Form Trust
Leadership and building trust might come naturally to some, but adding new tools to the toolbelt helps everyone. Without knowing the tools, gaining the trust of the organization or a team won’t be easy. I have written about most of these tools in detail before. So, I don’t go into too much detail.
Here is the complete list I leverage to build trust (with people directly reporting to me):
Weekly, at least 30 minutes of one-on-ones: No manager monologue. One-one-ones are for the direct report, not for the manager. Listen carefully and act on what you promise.
Show empathy / Self-awareness: Be genuinely interested and put yourself in their shoes.
Share Different Types of Feedback: Start with appreciation, then move to evaluation and/or coaching. Be aware of what kind of feedback the other side expects at a particular time. The goal: say the hard thing, hear the hard thing.
Transparency over context: The manager’s job is to manage information flow. Sharing context allows people to do their job effectively while reducing secrecy, which helps build trust.
Delegation: Delegate the work you know best or the skill you can perform well to the person who can and wants to acquire it. There is no better way to grow talent. The more you delegate, the more you show that you trust.
(for more relationship-based people) Lunch / Dinners / Social Events: Don’t underestimate the value of a shared meal. Food brings people together.
When I work with my peers or my managers, I still leverage most of these tools, but the shape changes. With my peers, I rarely do weekly one-one-one but instead have irregular one-on-ones about a specific topic. I increase the level of transparency with them, including more personal details about my team, and I show them even more vulnerability. With my manager, I go all in on transparency and feedback, while delegation plays almost no role.
Although there is still so much to learn, these fundamentals and essential tools already give a good framework to approach building trust systematically. I’ve been using them with many people, and they simply work. If you haven’t done it already, give it a try.